"Hear a just cause, O Lord,

Attend to my cry;

Give ear to my prayer which is not from deceitful lips.

Let my vindication come from Your presence;

Let Your eyes look on the things that are upright.

You have tested my heart;

You have visited me in the night;

You have tried me and have found nothing;

I have purposed that my mouth shall not transgress."

my twocents... 

to think that the Lord tests us in the night, to think that the Lord sees us in our dreams, in a realm that seems of pure fantasy, my... how mighty is He?... as david seeks the Lord's attention, comfort and reassurance, he expresses his diligence in obedience. he pleads his case in confidence that he has put forth his best for God. he is a conscientious student who measures and tracks his own progress as the only means of his understanding of holiness. and although holiness cannot be measured and can barely be understood by our finite minds, dreams are a miraculous way to gauge progress, and to test our spiritual strength. in this playscape where we drift away in our minds, God is still there. when you can make the choice to do anything, with no consequence, do you choose sin? what if you stand for your faith and choose righteousness, even when there is no real reward? even if its just a dream, a simulation? what are you practicing in reality that influences your choices when your inhibitions are lowered? just as warriors practice battle and exercise daily, so must we as Christians. when it is time to battle, we are armed with the Word and armor of God... we must study for that test and put in the extra effort with every opportunity. we do this for the glory of God. may we even seek to glorify Him in our dreams! what an exciting challenge!

So as we seek closeness with God, we must always put Him first and choose Him everytime...every chance we get to practice and exercise our faith, we must accept this gift... and that closeness with our savior is the true reward ever so gracefully available to us daily.

11/26/22

"I will call upon the Lord, who is worthy to be praised;

So shall I be saved from my enemies.

The pangs of death surrounded me,

And the floods of ungodliness made me afraid.

The sorrows of Sheol surrounded me;

The snares of death confronted me.

In my distress I called upon the Lord,

And cried out to my God;

He heard my voice from His temple,

And my cry came before Him, even to His ears.”

my two cents…

what seems so simple, is so often not… we find ourselves lost in darkness, depression, anger and sin. many of us have followed the path of darkness for a long time (often without realizing it) and have no hope that there is anything better and really can’t see a way out. there is one way out and it is through Jesus, 'the way'. He is just a call away… all you have to do is say His name and He will save you from the deepest depths. david was right there face to face with death, but he called upon the Lord and was saved. the Lord ‘soared on the wings of the wind’ to save david, and He will do that for you too. He will shake the foundations of the earth to rescue you, even when you don’t feel worthy. nevertheless, humility and pride don’t mix. one has to be given up in order to move. this is the part that is not always easy… let go of the pride and believe that there is so much you just don’t know, so much you can’t fathom that God has to offer you. don’t believe the lies that tell you there is nothing more or that you should settle for only what you know. call on our one true creator’s glorious name, Jesus, and you will be saved from the cords of death and the torrents of destruction.  

11/27/24

"He restores my soul.

He leads me in paths of righteousness

for his name's sake.

Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,

I will fear no evil,

for you are with me;

your rod and your staff,

they comfort me.”

my two cents…

the neat thing in this well-known psalm is that each sentence offers so much. these Words are so rich. in this particular section, we feel the contrast of the Lord’s care and comfort versus the uncomfortable reality of life on earth and sin all around us. our God is almighty and sovereign - He knows all, created all, and chose to love us and save our spirits despite our choice to know sin. His love is so great that He allowed us to live in this world full of contrast so that our quest becomes learning and knowing His true love. we have the opportunity to know light and dark, joy and sorrow, love and hate, life and death, in order to have that knowledge that we so desired in eden. as unsettling as this chasm of contrast is, God carries us through it and restores our soul as we depend on Him. but we also have the choice to do it alone, and that, my friend, is freedom - an expression of love to be in awe over. after your failed attempts of trying to go about it alone, you might realize that seeking the Creator for direction is really the best route. in that case, as we kneel to Him, we shall be humble and believe that His ways are best. He shall be glorified by each of our steps, as they are directed by Him - do not resist His direction. walk in faith with the Lord. fear is lies and fear cannot exist where there is love, where there is God. know the Lord as our father: he corrects us, disciplines us, and teaches us. His word is the way. without those boundaries we would not feel safety. His ways comfort us. as children we seek to test those boundaries, desiring the ‘zap of the fence’ as reassurance and confirmation that we understand the rules. anxiety comes from lack of structure and direction, but the Lord is our rock, He is our foundation, He is our home and our security. although we may not always understand His ways and we may not be able to grasp the effects of sin and His ways of justice against sin, we must trust in His unfailing love and goodness as we take moment by moment. 

11/28/24

“Make me to know your ways, O Lord;

teach me your paths.

Lead me in your truth and teach me,

for you are the God of my salvation;

for you I wait all the day long."

my twocents…

God is our creator and the creator of every single thing on this earth. would it not also make sense that we seek Him first for direction, teaching, and truth? if we were to view a beautiful piece of abstract art and try to interpret it for ourselves, i’m sure we could come up with hundreds of different interpretations, but if we ask the artist what his intention and purpose for the painting was, he would surely tell us the true message. that true message what was allowed the creation to be made. if the artist didn’t have that idea, we would not be viewing that painting today, and we would have nothing to even try to interpret. much in the same way, our God is the mighty, miraculous author of creation. our existence was His idea. let us be humble to Him and seek the truth through His Word and nothing else. so many things in this world are vying for our attention and satan is the conductor of distractions. as we fall for those distractions, we drift away from the truth. we become subject to sin, false worship, and we start believing lies. we must learn discernment by meditating on the Word, the truth. we must learn to slow and steady our pace. there’s no point in sprinting down the wrong trail… ’wait all day long’ for the Lord if necessary. he surely waits for us… patience is a virtue, but it is also attainable with practice. when you start to learn an instrument, you aren’t instantly good, you have to start with simple lessons and continue each day to add a little bit more. as we exercise and strengthen our patience, with God’s grace and guidance, we are able to slow down to not only receive the truth but to sincerely hear it and to see it in the beauty of the Lord’s creation around us. …stop and smell the roses... hear the birds sing… the Lord is always speaking, but can we work to slow down and hear Him?

11/29/22

“Blessed is he whose transgression is forgiven,

Whose sin is covered.

Blessed is the man to whom the Lord does not impute iniquity,

And in whose spirit there is no deceit.

When I kept silent, my bones grew old

Through my groaning all the day long.

For day and night Your hand was heavy upon me;

My vitality was turned into the drought of summer.

Selah

I acknowledged my sin to You,

And my iniquity I have not hidden.

I said, “I will confess my transgressions to the Lord,”

And You forgave the iniquity of my sin.”

my twocents…

reading through the Psalms can lead one to think that they can never be as righteous as david was. it can be intimidating to praise the Lord with david’s songs and just not feel as worthy as he was. but this psalm gives us the insight we long for. and as noted in Romans 3:23: “for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God”, david is not exempt from this. the key here is that david recognizes his shortcomings, his sin, and he confessed all of it to God. simply with that humble confession, God mercifully provided forgiveness. the gift of salvation through Jesus Christ has become available to us all and it is now more accessible than ever to receive forgiveness from God. why should you get on your knees in humility and ask for forgiveness? well, there is eternal reward in doing so! as these Words point out, blessed are the forgiven. in contrast, those who resist God feel His ‘heavy hand’ as he is always consistently just. can you relate to the toil of working day to day in ‘silence’ to the Lord? do you recall the times each day as your body ached and all thoughts of negativity swarmed your mind? your stubbornness kept you trapped, in bondage to sin and without freedom. many of us can be fooled to think that by kneeling to our Creator, we become enslaved to Him - no, it’s just the opposite. we are freed - free from lies, and the pain that those lies inflict. through salvation we are blessed. we are immediately cleansed and forgiven. praise the Lord! His Word is the truth. if we seek forgiveness and salvation through Jesus Christ we are blessed beyond imagination. we are delivered and protected under his care. 

11/30/22

“An oracle within my heart concerning the transgression of the wicked:

There is no fear of God before his eyes.

For he flatters himself in his own eyes,

When he finds out his iniquity and when he hates.

The words of his mouth are wickedness and deceit;

He has ceased to be wise and to do good.

He devises wickedness on his bed;

He sets himself in a way that is not good;

He does not abhor evil.”

my twocents…

this psalm demonstrates human ways, the ways we act before accepting salvation. the grips of sin and evil’s lies are so strong and so dark. they are absolutely blinding and cause us to fall into a delusion. if only our eyes could truly be opened… 

yet there is a way… that is through Christ…

without Christ, all we have is our own self-assurance, which has to be applied so often, as it wears so quickly. the pain that surfaces is unbearable so we rush for medication. we bury ourselves in self-admiration and mindless pleasure to mask the disdain that we feel towards ourselves, our past offenses, our guilt, shame and regret. we can’t have joy when we spew wicked words and lies to ourselves and others. these poisonous words are born of hate and self-loathing. there is no motivation to ‘do good’ and care for others when our plate is so full of bandages. …re-applying and re-applying, because the bandages dissolve so quickly. the mirror plays tricks and tells us to worship our self. the mirror reflects no wounds even though there are many. "who needs God when i can only be sure of this reflection?" where God is not invited, the atmosphere is cold and barren: fruitless… our self-made fire is only enough for our self, but only for a short time. we can even be proud of it, only for a short time. there’s no way anyone else could be allowed in, there wouldn’t be enough warmth to go around. sharing and charity is out of the question. it’s survival of the fittest and if there’s any will left to live, all resources go to the obvious. evil is not abhorred, more often, it is welcomed. it feels familiar and understood since that is what has afflicted us in the first place. when we were young, we learned pain. we had to adjust and accommodate it. with all that effort to make it a home, we found ourselves proud of that achievement. “who needs God anyway? there surely can’t be much more goodness than those few glimpses i saw on my own.” …don't believe it… evil touts tangibility, it claims to be less intimidating than admission of failure and short comings. failure seems such a far fall… how could we ever walk ‘post-submission’? wouldn’t our bones be completely broken? how can we show our face? we fear the mirror won’t say the same things back ever again…

if you’re not sure about surrendering to Christ, it’s time to think again. can you hear the lies? aren’t you sick of the madness? this darkness is no way to live. there is no purpose without God. there is no purpose when we separate ourselves from our Maker. come home and accept His love and guidance because it's better than any one of us can do on our own… 

12/7/22

“The steps of a good man are ordered by the Lord,

And He delights in his way.

Though he fall, he shall not be utterly cast down;

For the Lord upholds him with His hand.”

my twocents…

it can be easy to forget how graceful God really is. even having been blessed and filled with the Holy Spirit, we can still lose sight and fall victim to fears. but the Lord never lets us truly fall. God orders our steps and takes delight in watching us walk the path He’s designed. just imagine our Father smiling upon us as we go about our day. our faith, not our own achievements, allows us to walk His way. then there are those times where we stray and get lost. some of us get lost inside one day, some of us get lost over a few years. but no matter how long, God’s patience and grace is greater. He will wait for us and He will uphold us with His hand. our days can be tricky as they pull us into distraction and temptation, into illusions. some days we will be strong and we will overcome these challenges. other days, we will stumble. but we will never fall… 

ever play bumper bowling? it’s nice because you can still practice all the expert techniques of how to roll the bowling ball, where to stand and how much curve to give it, but you’ll never fall straight into the gutter. the game isn’t so much about being perfect in every frame, its about enjoying the fact that you can hit pins and score points with every throw. you can enjoy the things about bowling that we all love - hanging out with friends, making silly gestures, and friendly competition. when the bumpers are gone, and if we haven’t already gone through endless hours of practice, a gutter ball becomes the common theme of the game. and even if you didn’t come to play with your ‘serious face’ on, somehow the continuous gutters just start bringing you down. this causes a lot of people to give up on the game altogether. it becomes a less inclusive game, and it becomes a game only for those who are willing to be hardened. 

life isn’t about you becoming a perfect bowler. life isn’t even about bowling. it’s about relationships and those loved ones playing the game right next to you. we get so caught up thinking we need to win the game, but the game is really just an excuse to spend time with others. don’t you see the big picture here? bumper bowling isn’t for sissies, it’s for people that just want to have a good time and not let competition and self-focus get the best of them. i pray that you can walk God’s path today and bask in His grace. it is plentiful. open your eyes to your ‘bowling team’ and enjoy their presence. no one is here to win. Jesus has already done that for us. no one is going to fail. God’s hand won’t allow that. enjoy the game and don’t forget to smile and laugh with your friends.

12/10/22

“As the deer pants for the water brooks,

So pants my soul for You, O God.

My soul thirsts for God, for the living God.

When shall I come and appear before God?

My tears have been my food day and night,

While they continually say to me,

“Where is your God?”

my twocents…

you can hear the thirst in david’s cry, you can hear the longing in his words. we were made by God, in His image, and we were designed to be in His presence. but the original sin tore us away as we made that choice to know good and evil. you can see this deficit in everyone. especially before we accept Christ, we are lost and longing to fill this unknown void, wandering around desperately for answers. we can travel far lengths into dark territories and still not find that satisfaction that we internally crave. when we finally come to Christ and accept His love, His spirit dwells within us, but we are still living here in the flesh. we still experience moments like david where we just want to know, “how long until I can appear before God?”. this life gives so many challenges. and even as believers, we walk through the valley of the shadow of death. we are threatened and ridiculed by our surroundings. we live in a place that we truly don’t belong. yet… we are soldiers of God. He only has us here on earth for a short time, and there is work to be done. there is sweat, blood and tears to shed as we toil out of love for our neighbors- even when they don’t love us. if we take ourselves out of the context and out of the drama, we just have to remember that we belong to the Lord. we serve Him out of love and gratitude for His grace. how can we glorify Him? yes, we long for that drink of pure water that is His light that quenches our soul, but until we step out of the flesh, we must be patient. you’re not in this alone, we are all thirsty. at least we have His Word, available to us at any time, that is just enough to keep our palate wet. the Lord is true to His promises. we will be with Him once again. until then, may we glorify Him with all that we are able to within these boundaries and amidst our daily challenges. 

12/13/22

“Behold, I was brought forth in iniquity,

And in sin my mother conceived me.

Behold, You desire truth in the inward parts,

And in the hidden part You will make me to know wisdom.

Purge me with hyssop, and I shall be clean;

Wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow.

Make me hear joy and gladness,

That the bones You have broken may rejoice.

Hide Your face from my sins,

And blot out all my iniquities.

Create in me a clean heart, O God,

And renew a steadfast spirit within me.

Do not cast me away from Your presence,

And do not take Your Holy Spirit from me.

Restore to me the joy of Your salvation,

And uphold me by Your generous Spirit.

Then I will teach transgressors Your ways,

And sinners shall be converted to You.

Deliver me from the guilt of bloodshed, O God,

The God of my salvation,

And my tongue shall sing aloud of Your righteousness.

O Lord, open my lips,

And my mouth shall show forth Your praise.

For You do not desire sacrifice, or else I would give it;

You do not delight in burnt offering.

The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit,

A broken and a contrite heart—

These, O God, You will not despise.

my twocents…

although we were born into sin, into a sinful world, the lord planted a seed in us while were still in the womb. a seed of faithfulness, truth and wisdom. we grow and the seed grows and we are blessed to be reunited with Him in spirit. we are cleansed. exhilaratingly refreshed as the dark veil is lifted and we can see in a whole new light. let us stop a moment just to rejoice. let us stop for a moment to feel joy for the first time. we still know sin, we are familiar with our old ways, and we still have skin to shed. so then we continue working, but now we are working for the Lord. but how do we progress when we still feel guilt and shame? it doesn’t exactly go away overnight. the light of truth that He shines makes us feel naked. the guilt of bloodshed and images from the past seem so hard to erase. but the Lord is gentle and He works in perfect ways as we continue to be faithful and learn what faith is along the way. sometimes we must sit with our discomfort and continue praying, as God is teaching us in that moment and building our wisdom. pray that we may become wise enough to teach others of the Lord’s ways. how great will it be to convert sinners to the Lord? pray that we may become loving like the Lord and become able to speak words of love. may we speak words of true righteousness and not self-righteousness, for there is only one source for righteousness. as we seek the Lord, may we be humble and may our pride and stubbornness shed away, so that as it does, it reveals joy and love and the image of our true self as He created us. we come to the Lord on our knees, in our pain of sacrifice, truly, our heart is broken as we mourn over our own death and those that are dead still yet walking around us. truth can be painful, but the Lord gives us a Comforter. each day we take another dose of truth, really taking it in like medicine. it doesn’t taste good, it makes our stomach queasy, but it is working to heal us and change us. we keep exercising, tearing down muscle and letting it rebuild itself with truth. the soreness is there everyday but its also a reminder of good, hard work. how can our lips speak lies when it's muscle has been reformed with truth? we have sacrificed, given up, what did not work for us: our broken spirit and broken heart. this, the Lord does not despise.

12/26/22

“For indeed, those who are far from You shall perish;

You have destroyed all those who desert You for harlotry.

But it is good for me to draw near to God;

I have put my trust in the Lord God,

That I may declare all Your works.”

my twocents…

i have been thinking a lot lately about the gift of vision, the ability to see physically, visually. it something so easily taken for granted. there is so much beauty to see and so much we are enabled to do because we can visually navigate our environment. 

i didn’t expect such a miraculous gift to be bestowed on me when i surrendered to Christ. i gained a gift of spiritual vision- on top of the already amazing gift of physical vision. this gift that enabled me to see 100 times more beauty in the world, as well as seeing the truth, which includes pain and suffering. as sensitive as i feel when i ‘look’ around and see the world for what it is, i would not have it any other way. so this thought led to an analogy…

faith is our lens. God stays true to His promises and works all things for the good of those who love Him. but when our faith diminishes, our trust lessens, and we grip to worry and fear. our lens on reality shrinks and our perception is skewed. picture yourself looking through a tiny pinhole. uncomfortable, isn’t it? we can see less and less of what is real, we can only see a few objects in our sight and become hyper-focused on them. so, the lies we hear seem true because we only have this limited perception. satan enjoys playing in this field of vision- easier to perform tricks. and then sin is our distance from God. think of it as the scope’s extension. we might have unresolved quarrels between our fellow man that we need to address before getting closer to God. or we might be practicing and living sin and not repenting, leaving us at a cold distance from Him. everything looks tiny and difficult to distinguish.

so think of this scope that we are looking through. maybe as unbelievers we had this scope but we couldn’t adjust it, we didn’t ask how, and we didn’t surrender to Help. it was on a fixed setting. now that we can adjust it, we fumble with the settings. our faith waxes and wanes and sometimes we are not seeing the whole picture that God wants us to see (if only we could let go of fears). the extension of the scope gives us near- or farsightedness. its hard to see the big picture when things are blurry, or everything is super tiny, or there are obstacles blocking the path of vision. 

in conclusion, i pray that we do not live life with a tiny, distorted scope. read this Psalm and see how important it is to be near to God. the worry and strife is just not necessary when the scope can be adjusted- the gift He has given us is in our hands. by increasing faith, we can live more freely and understand the true perspective. by removing sin’s obstacles and getting closer to God, He will show us a clear, true picture, and much to be optimistic about. let us live life everyday knowing that God is working good, God is good, the Holy Spirit is in us (as close as can be), and everyday there is much to be thankful for. use this spiritual vision to it’s fullest and never take it for granted. how sad a tool that is gifted but never put to use. the Lord loves us and wants, not to do these things for us, but to give us the tools to learn on our own. how much more rewarding is it? if you need to, adjust your scope today!

2/6/23

“Your testimonies are wonderful;

Therefore my soul keeps them.

The entrance of Your words gives light;

It gives understanding to the simple.

I opened my mouth and panted,

For I longed for Your commandments.

Look upon me and be merciful to me,

As Your custom is toward those who love Your name.

Direct my steps by Your word,

And let no iniquity have dominion over me.

Redeem me from the oppression of man,

That I may keep Your precepts.

Make Your face shine upon Your servant,

And teach me Your statutes.

Rivers of water run down from my eyes,

Because men do not keep Your law.”

my twocents…

what a beautiful song… this is something that we could pray everyday… it encompasses such a passion of praise to the Lord, desperation to glorify Him, and sorrow for the world. i was thinking today about how this life feels backwards somehow… we are born, so dependent and knowing of nothing. we grow and learn basic skills to navigate the world, but we know nothing about it. we learn from our parents and peers, but never really know if they’re right. we stumble and fall and start creating our own rules from things we’ve learned, assuming they are good enough truths to build from. we test and trial these theories and learn the hard way. and [hopefully] at some point, we surrender when we realize Jesus is the truth and the Way. when we realize that there was a manual that would provide all the answers. some of us are blessed to meet Jesus early on in life and have that shining Light on our paths, but some of us go quite a ways through life before meeting Him. i think of this as backwards because God is our creator, and i might imagine in eden, that humans living in God’s presence, within perfection, just enter knowing Him and all that is necessary to glorify Him and enjoy His gift. i could be wrong, but i know that in this life, we are not done learning until we pass on. we could go our whole life believing one thing and 85 years in, we realize that we were wrong. this world is broken and misleading. one could go off track for quite a while here. but what God makes out of this crazy place, is even more beautiful than i imagine eden. because of the love story- the struggle as we crawl on our needs towards Him… we fight to live because of our internal connection to Him, knowing we have to continue striving. we are so immature in our minds because He gave us this blank slate to write on. the slate gets covered in a lot of nonsense along the way, but when we hear His Word all the clutter disappears. he doesn’t just give us the key, he allows us to find it. this love story is so epic because of the hills and valleys, the dynamics. God turned the ultimate sin into the ultimate love story. 

this song in psalms expresses that longing desire to be close to God and to worship Him. it acknowledges that He is our Teacher and that He has the answers on how to live the way we were meant to. this life can feel like a pair of backwards pants, but when we seek Him, the discomfort disappears and suddenly the pants are set just right.

12/20/22